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Happy, Joyous and “Old”?

On November 18, 1996 I became a grandfather at the ripe, “old” age of 33! Yup, I’ve been a grandfather for 16 years and loving it – It’s the best job in the world! This weekend I’ll have a chance to really feel it. Mia will celebrate her 16th birthday with family, friends and 4 bands at a rock concert in Jacksonville Beach, FL. When she called to tell me the details Mia made sure to let me know I’d probably be spending a lot of time outside – “It’s not really your type of music Pop.” I thanked her for the invitation and assured her Anita and I could find the door if necessary.

It’s times like this that get me to reflect on how really fortunate I am. I remember insisting that I could not extend my business trip in Japan because I wanted to be home for Mia’s birth, then racing home from the airport in Cincinnati to pick up Cindy and heading to the hospital – Rebekah’s water had broke a week early! Also sitting in the hall and hearing her cry for the first time as she was born, then holding her in my arms – she had me!

After Cindy and I divorced I gave serious consideration to leaving Cincinnati. Cincinnati is a nice town but it’s not close to the beach (to SCUBA dive), it’s not close to the mountains (to snow ski) and it’s not close to my family (to celebrate life). I was square in the middle with Mom and Dad on the left coast and Kevin and Kendra and their family’s on the right coast. No one wanted to visit Cincinnati and I couldn’t decide which way to go – west to spend time with my parents and Mother’s siblings or east to enjoy time as an uncle. In the end I made the choice to stay right where I was.

With no blood relation Rebekah was well within her rights to pat me on the head and send me on my way after my divorce from Mia’s grandmother. She chose instead to welcome me into her family and encouraged me to continue taking an active role in Mia’s life. I spent every Sunday afternoon with Mia (and later with her sister Anna as well). Mia was my roller coaster buddy in the spring and fall, my water park buddy in the summer and my ski buddy in the winter. We had 4 to 6 weeks between winter and spring and fall and winter where we discovered new adventures – enjoying and exploring local parks, playing games at Sports Plus, watching movies at my house, flying a kite or launching model rockets, learning to climb trees. If we were in town on a Sunday afternoon we were together.

I also enjoyed additional “privileges”. I was invited to school events, graduations, holiday parties, birthday celebrations, cook outs and so much  more. If it involved celebrating with family I received an invitation. Me, the only one who really wasn’t family. Rebekah and her family “adopted” me, opening their homes, their lives and their hearts to welcome me, not just into Mia’s life, but into theirs as well.

As I sit here preparing to pack for the trip to Florida I’m overcome by a sense of gratitude. I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve shared with Mia and her family, for the love they extended to me and the opportunity to accept yet one more invitation to celebrate with them. I’m certain the music will be too loud, that I’ll likely not recognize a single song, but I can’t wait to step in and enjoy my role as Mia’s Pop!

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Willingness To…

As we wrap up Thanksgiving (are all the leftovers gone?), head for the holidays and the start of 2011 it’s a good time to take stock of what I’m grateful for in my life. Certainly I’m grateful for my health, the love of my wife Anita, work that excites and challenges me to be more, a loving family, great friendships, food on the table, a roof over my head, a fabulous country in which to live and so much more.

It’s easy to rattle off a list of stuff for which I’m grateful. I have been blessed with so very much, but after getting past the list, I feel there’s something deeper. Something that has molded me and made we who and what I am today – willingness.

  • Willingness to do what’s right.
  • Willingness to not say what’s on my mind.
  • Willingness to love and to be loved by others.
  • Willingness to nurture a relationship with a God of my understanding.
  • Willingness to give back what has been so graciously given to me.
  • Willingness to get out of myself and to serve others.
  • Willingness to open my mind to new possibilities.
  • Willingness to listen.
  • Willingness to serve.
  • Willingness to do what at first seems difficult then becomes comfortable and eventually feels effortless.
  • Willingness to ask for help.
  • Willingness dream, to imagine what can and will be.
  • Willingness to expose myself to you for it’s through sharing who I truly am that I see it reflected back to me.

The things, the people and circumstances can all change (in many cases I pray they do). I used to believe I wanted consistency in my life, to get into a groove and to stay there. Now I realize that the groove is a form of a mini grave. One that buries me from all that life has to offer.  For I know that with a willingness to serve, to grow and to care for others I’ll have more blessing than I could ever count.

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So Blessed

I celebrated a birthday last week – 47 years old for those of you that lost track (That list includes my parents, by vocalizing my age I think it reminds them of their age).

I schedule a physical with my lab coat doctor (my “primary care” physician who only sees me once a year for my annual physical) in the month of May as my “celebration” of health to get some lab tests and have my prostate examined (half of all cancer in men is 1 finger deep).  He gave me a clean bill of health, but failed to note that my LDL cholesterol is high!  This past year I got my total cholesterol below 200 and lost 6 pounds (I fit comfortably in size 34 pants, my ultimate test for my weight)! 

I do “feel my age” more than I used to.  Recall from a previous post that Anita and I are tending to the lawn care responsibilities again.  I especially feel it after kneeling, stooping, reaching and doing all kinds of other tasks that I used to do with ease.  My back tends to ache a bit more (I guess I should have paid more attention to good posture as a teen) but I do some exercises for my lower back that I discovered on the internet which help tremendously. 

Exercising irregularly as I do tends to produce more aches and pains than sculpted body parts.  Anita and I are making a point to walk more.  I enjoy the time together, no TV, no computer, just the two of us talking (that’s a novel concept) and walking for health.  We get a bit carried away at times and boy are my tendons and calves tight the next day.  I’ve discovered another exercise to stretch them out (I realize stretching before and after walking would be a better idea).

I have a BIG list of things I intend to accomplish in life, places I’ll visit, experiences I’ll share and people I’ll meet but I have so many things for which I’m truly grateful the other pales in comparison.  In our instant gratification society, where blame is placed elsewhere until proven in a court of law, where stories of doom and gloom top the headlines and people look to others to provide their basic necessities for life it’s hard to stay focused on the things we enjoy every day, the blessings that are shared with us so abundantly.

What are you grateful for today?  Start a list, write it down; tell someone you value them.

Here’s today’s top 10 for which I’m so truly grateful:

  1. A relationship with God.
  2. My health.
  3. The opportunity to share my life with someone I love dearly, my wife Anita (sorry honey today you’re #3).
  4. The love of so many family and friends.
  5. Living in the best country in the world with freedoms and opportunities many only dream of having.
  6. The willingness to try new things.
  7. A willingness to say I’m sorry (when the new things don’t go as planned).
  8. A kind heart to reach out to others to let them know they matter.
  9. Confidence in myself with a feeling of unrealized expectation (I’m retiring from my career at Procter & Gamble the end of the month).
  10. File drawers with empty space (I spent Saturday doing some spring cleaning).  Maybe this is better phrased “A willingness to release things that no longer add value to my life”.

Who can you call today to tell them they’ve made a difference?  

All the things that really matter in life are FREE – our mind, our health, our family, our relationships, our goals and dreams, our lives!

When I get caught up in the doom and gloom of it all, when I’ve got a big challenge that’s been placed directly in front of me, when I allow things outside my control to affect my attitude reflecting on the things for which I’m grateful puts everything back in perspective.  Refocuses and reenergizes me on what’s right in my life, takes me to a place of peace and serenity that was so easy to lose.

Give it a try, what’s the worst thing that can happen?  The pain, fear, anger or other destructive emotion will be there waiting for you.  Open your eyes to the abundance you have in your life and be grateful for it!

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